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Easy Steps to Trust Yourself

2/23/2017

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“To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men --  that is genius,” – Emerson

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When you trust yourself and what you believe, there is very little room for self-doubt.  Also, others’ opinions or thoughts about you and the choices you made usually does not trouble you.  Believing and trusting yourself is rewarding and fulfilling.
 
Growing up, most of us were told what to do and when to do it. As children, we were exposed to many adults, like parents and teachers that were busy showing us how to behave.Unfortunately, we were not taught or encouraged to be trustworthy.
   
Learning to trust myself did not come easy for me. Like most of you, I have lacked trust in myself most of my life.Whether it was in my capabilities either at work, home, or school, I did not have much faith in trusting myself. Self-Doubt was rampant.I was stuck in this endless depressive cycle until I encountered my training as a life coach.
 
Being coached during the training brought me in touch with the tools to gain an awareness into how my lacking self-trust was hurting me in all areas of my life. I have learned so much from mentors, trainers, spiritual guides and coaches. So, I want to share these insights, tools, experiences, and knowledge with you, as you continue to find ways to trust yourself.
Here are some suggestions to explore ways to build up your trust in yourself:

  • Have fun and play.  One way in learning to trust yourself is giving   yourself permission to explore and learn.  Being playful allows one to be curious and try different things. 
  • Record success. Write down examples of situations where you had to rely upon yourself to handle difficult situations. Look at this list often, especially during times of feeling self-doubt.
  • First trust yourself.  When you learn to trust yourself, you will be in a better position to decide putting your trust in others.
  • Make lots of mistakes.  As you learn to trust yourself and others, expect to make mistakes along the way.  Learn from those mistakes so you can become very effective at trusting self and others.
  • Examine your thoughts.  One of the most popular reasons why we don’t trust ourselves in that we have thoughts that hurt us.  We might beat ourselves up or even compare self to others.
  • Hang out with people that trust themselves.  Learn from those who do trust themselves and ask them how they did it.
  • Accept that humans are not perfect.  As we go into relationships, we bring our hopes, dreams, beliefs, assumptions and expectations with us.  People will fall short and surprise us. Once we understand others are not perfect and will disappoint, we can learn to get better at trusting oneself.
  • Stop asking others for advice:  People have told us what to do most of our lives.  We have lost ourselves and the ability to think on our own.  When their advice is not forthcoming, we freeze and feel powerless.  Cut back on asking for advice.  Spend some quiet time and learn to take the chance to decide for oneself.  Eventually, you will find that part of you that is wise, insightful and dependable for handling challenges. 
  • Hire a coach.  Look for a coach like myself who knows first-hand how lack of trust can hurt us and will share ways to build up your self-trust.
  • Read a book.  There are so many books out there to help build up trusting yourself. I have found reading daily affirmations very useful.  One of my favorite daily affirmation books is Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening; Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.  
 
Is there anything on this list you are willing to try? What steps will you take to make it happen?How will you hold yourself accountable?
 
If you are interested in working on this issue through coaching, give me a call, at no cost to you, to see where I can help you trust yourself and others well.Give me a call: (978)372-2284
 

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    Tom Ellis

    Tom Ellis, CPC

    Tom is a Path Finder who is solution & action focused as well as a Life Purpose Specialist. Artist & Gentleman Farmer.

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  • Home
  • About
  • Work with Tom
  • Dying & Grief Companion
  • Programs
    • Worry-Free Program
    • Adult Trauma Survivors
    • Couple-Talk Program
  • Blog
  • Contact