That’s right, “There is nothing wrong with you.”
This is what I say at the first session to every person who comes to me for coaching. I wish I could videotape the wide range of reactions I see after making that statement. I see disbelief, confusion, doubt, sometimes even agreement.
I then follow up with another statement, “The issue is with your thinking. It is the way we think about ourselves that is the problem.” At this point many react with a huge sigh of relief. This is the first step in understanding how to stop blaming ourselves and start learning about ourselves.
I know that sigh of relief well. I experienced it many years ago during a coaching session. Desperate for relief, I recall asking, “How do I make the painful negative thinking stop?” It was then I was told it is the way I was thinking that needed to change. It was all uphill from there.
I learned and worked with some easy tool to take control of my thoughts. I felt good about myself. I realized I am not the sum total of my thinking. I do not have to be at the mercy of my internal negative voice. My relationships both at work and at home improved. My life got better. When I have times of self-doubt or negative thinking, I have the tools and confidence to confront it before it gets out of hand.
Are you imprisoned by your negative thoughts? Are your thoughts getting in the way of having healthy relationships at home and work? Are you willing to take control of your thoughts? When you’re ready, contact me.
Tom Ellis, CPC
Tom is a Path Finder who is solution & action focused as well as a Life Purpose Specialist. Artist & Gentleman Farmer.